It tastes like chicken, right? I’ve never tasted testicles of any sort (insert sarcastic remark here), but I imagine that’s the answer you’d get by someone who has popped a bull ball into their mouth. Or maybe not.
Balls. Nuts. Bollocks. Marbles. Knap sacks. Nads. Cojones – however you refer to them, testicles are considered highly edibles parts of many a male animal (insert lewd remark here). To paraphrase Euell Gibbons, “Many parts are edible.” And don’t think only those weird foreign cultures are the ones gobbling up plates of sauteed or fried testicles. Ever hear of Rocky Mountain oysters? Nice way for cowboys to admit they snack on the nuts of the very cattle they herd.
But never mind the bollocks, why the sudden taste for testicles? Well it seems that our inner nut sack craving has yet to be tapped and Serbian chef Ljubomir Erovic is out to, er, expose us to the wonders of testicle dining, as I recently discovered recently on Slashfood.
The Testicle Cookbook – Cooking with Balls (YUDU press) is being touted as the first recipe collection of its kind. Wow, go figure, huh? Cooking with Balls is a multimedia cookbook (it’s actually an online e-book) complete with how-to videos on cooking testicles. You’ll find a number of tongue tickling recipes including Testicle Pizza, Testicle Goulash and Testicles in White Wine. Mmmmm, yummy.
In an article in the Telegraph UK, Erovic said testicles are rich in testosterone and are believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac in China as well as his homeland of Serbia. Testicles? Aphrodisiac? In China? Well, that’s not exactly a surprise – in China, it seems like any peculiar animal part is an aphrodisiac (the more endangered, the more potent), and if you’re going to eat an animal’s penis to get aroused, may as well wash it down with some balls, yes?
As the book points out, the variety of testicles suitable for cooking are limitless – stallions, ostriches, bulls, pigs and turkeys – if it’s a male, chances are you can find some testicles thereabouts. But there is a bit of technique involved.
“Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes,” begins the recipe for testicles pie. “Once softened, mince them in a mincer.”
A “very sharp knife” is needed for traditional style testicles, which get boiled, cut up and deep fried in hot oil.
Who knows? Maybe, in short time, we’ll be seeing Turkey McNutgets and Bully Balls on the value menu at your favorite fast food joint. We do love our deep fried protein. Beef or chicken? Why limit your taste buds?
“The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites. All testicles can be eaten – except human, of course. The best for aphrodisiac properties are sheep and stallion testicles,” Erovic, 45, said.
All testicles can be eaten – except human, of course. Doesn’t that go without saying?
Just some news to chew on.