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News to Chew | ice cream

News to Chew

Taking a bite out of the world of food and food news
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Daniel Craig: Cool enough to lick and lick?

June 04, 2009 By: admin Category: Food News, Now, that's really stupid

One guess which category this story falls under. Now, if you had to choose someone famous that you could lick, who would it be? Well, in the U.K. apparently actor Daniel Craig (that’s Bond, James Bond) is the top choice as the coolest. So cool, in fact, that to celebrate National Ice Cream Week, Del Monte Superfruit Smoothies has produced a frozen treat of the British actor with his bare, sculpted torso.

Really. Check out the promotional photo to the left. Mmmm. Sexy.

According to the London’s Daily Mail, the ice cream company (which, by the way merely licenses the Del Monte name) created the smoothie likeness after asking more than 1,000 women which male celebrity they would like to see on the end of a stick. And British women most wanted to lick Craig’s stick, though we won’t assume only those of the female gender would want to run their tongues over that icy cool bod.

Getting their fill of Craig’s head means less than 100 calories for each pop and it comes in blueberry, pomegranate and cranberry flavors.

And who else did those orally deprived Brits want to suck on? Jude Law came in second, followed by Hugh Grant Welshmen Steve Jones and Tom Jones took fourth and fifth places, while Scottish film star Ewan McGregor came in sixth.Three Davids – Cameron, Beckham and Tennant were seven, eight and nine, while the top ten was rounded out by silver fox Philip Schofield.

News to Chew has no idea who some of those names are, though we are impressed with singer Tom Jones’ fifth place showing, ahead of that wanker David Beckham. Apparently, it’s not unusual to be loved anyone.

Before someone here decides to nick this really stupid idea from the Brits, we suggest this to our American women: go to the local market’s freezer section, buy a box of Popsicle Big Sticks, and use your imagination. Because we’d hate to see what the results of an American version of the poll might be.

Just some news to chew on.

Tastes Like Mother’s Milk: PETA Wants Ben & Jerry’s to Use Breast Milk in Ice Cream

October 03, 2008 By: admin Category: Food News, Now, that's really stupid

You know, some things are just too weird that they must be true, and this one ranks right up there. You might say it’s one succulent story – rich, creamy and mammarable. And we can thank the whack jobs at PETA for their pendulous concerns.

You see, last week, in their concern for the treatment, oops, ethical treatment of animals, the organization that wants to set all pets and zoo animals free announced their latest brilliant idea: PETA wants world-famous Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Ice Cream to tap nursing moms, rather than cows, for the milk used in its ice cream.

Yup, that’s right. PETA wants our friends at Ben & Jerry’s – who are quite ethical, from what I gather – to substitute cow’s milk with breast milk. Uh huh.

Here’s what the Associate Press reported:

“If Ben and Jerry’s replaced the cow’s milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers – and cows – would reap the benefits,” wrote Tracy Reiman, executive vice president of the animal rights advocacy group.
Ashley Byrne, a campaign coordinator for PETA, acknowledged the implausibility of substituting breast milk for cow’s milk, but said it’s no stranger than humans consuming the milk of another species.
“We’re aware this idea is somewhat absurd, and that putting it into practice is a stretch. At the time same, it’s pretty absurd for us to be drinking the milk of cows,” she said.

To the surprise of no one, except maybe PETA, the idea got a cool reception Thursday from Ben & Jerry’s officials, the company’s customers and even La Leche League International, the world’s oldest breast-feeding support organization.

But let’s suspend disbelief for a second and pretend that this is a great idea. There would be some logistical hurdles to overcome – at least production-wise.

According to AP, it takes about 12 pounds – or 1½ gallons of milk – to make a gallon of ice cream. Ben & Jerry’s, which gets its milk exclusively from Vermont cows, won’t say how much milk it uses or how much ice cream it sells.

Now I’m no math wiz but my estimation is that it’s gonna take a helluva lot of lactating mothers – breasts heaving and pumps in hand – to come up with the volume needed to churn out those delectable treats we love so much.

Now, licking an ice cream cone is one of our most pleasurable and sensual experiences, but in the context of a cone of luscious mounds of creamy ice cream made from human breast milk – well, Sigmund Freud would have a field day with that imagery. And to most of us, it’s just plain creepy.

On the other hand, breast milk Ben & Jerry’s ice cream would spawn a slew of imaginative flavor names. How about some Nipplepolitan? Or 36 Double D Dipped Chocolate? Or Booble Gum Gummy Bear?

Got any ideas of your own? And what do you think about PETA’s suggestion? Just some news to suck, er, chew on.